


Tumblr Prompted Flash-Fanfic Collection

by OldboyJensen



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Flash Fiction, Gen, Request based, chili cheese fries and beards are not a good combo, seagulls are oportunistic and dangerously good at their job, throw me a prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 11:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8443909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OldboyJensen/pseuds/OldboyJensen
Summary: A collection of flash fics based on prompts thrown in my Tumblr inbox. Ratings and tags may change as it grows. No suggestion is off limits, but I might choose to not write it if it's particularly squicky or I don't know the work. Current Fandoms Repped: Overwatch (1 story)
 Visit Oldboyjensenhinglemeier.tumblr.com to toss me a suggestion!





	

**Author's Note:**

> theclumsiestninja asked: Flash prompt: McCree in a fight with a seagull, go! :D

“Oh man, now that is just gross!”

“You kiddin’ Luz? This right here is the food of gods.”

“The gods of what, heart disease?”

“Don’t you sass me, frog boy.”

“I’m not sassing you I’m legitimately concerned for your health! I mean you’re already giving yourself lung ca- oh my god it’s in your beard oh ew, ew, ew.”

Lucio had to turn away from the sight of Jesse McCree mc-chowing down on a basket of chili cheese fries. A beard owner himself, sloppy eating didn’t usually bother Lucio… this horrifying mess was a pretty clear exception.

“Heh, you sure are squeamish for a medic.”

“Audio medic, and yeah ok but this is completely unrelated to picking shrapnel out of your back!”

“Thanks for that by the by.”

“Oh yeah, no problem!”

Lucio turned back to McCree who had, thankfully, used a napkin to get the worst of the shmutz off his face. A smear of cheese-wiz still lingered just under his left cheek. He grinned.

“Listen, why don’t you try one? You’re skinny as all heck, I think you can risk it.”

McCree held a fry out to Lucio, it’s soggy body slick with cheese and ground beef grease. Lucio felt his stomach drop just looking at it.

“No thanks.”

“Aw, come on: you’re at the boardwalk, ain’t ya? Might as well sample some of the local fare.”

“I’ll take my chances with the crab cakes.”

McCree opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a sudden flurry of wings and feathers. A brave seagull, spotting the still aloft fry, took the initiative and dive-bombed the cowboy- snatching its prize right out of his metal hand. Caught off guard by the bird flapping directly into his face, Jesse sprang to his feet, knocking the basket off its perch on his lap. Lucio moved to catch it out of regard for his friend, but he was half a second too late. Bound by gravity, the oily paper basket slipped past Lucio’s fingers and struck the faux wooden slats of the boardwalk. Chili fries splatted out and away in a slow motion swan song of tragedy.

And of course… as anyone who has ever been to the beach knows…

“Squawk squawk squawk scree squawk!”

Five, ten, twenty seagulls stormed the scene of the crime before either of the men could fully process their situation. The anarchy pushed them away from their bench and into the dunes. Or, more accurately, McCree was attacked again by the first bird that had spotted fry bits in his beard and tripped backwards over the guard rail to plant his ass firmly in the sand. Lucio vaulted over and held out a hand to help him up.

“Man, those things are crazy.”

“Yeah,” McCree grunted, “Overwatch should hire them.”

“What.”

“You ever see anybody else get on the point that damn fast?”


End file.
